The old (wo)man and the sea

Lost in the riptide
Out into sea
Floating
Waiting
To be rescued.

Only, nothing comes
No boat, no search team
Just the infinite ocean
And you.
Just you.

It’s so vast
All of it
Seems to go on
And on
You know it will end.

Both your life and the sea.
The sea meets the shore,
You meet your maker.
But for now
You are one.

These Girls

These girls--you watch them, they slide with easy grace
They fold around corners and weave in and out of streets and alleyways
As if waiting to be discovered. Their hair shines, like a beacon.
But, they don’t seem to care.
They shrug their shoulders and look mildly amused at your passing thoughts. Their
Black aviator sunglasses reflect you looking at them, as you should.
As you should.

Alice Jumped

our seasons touch--
your fingers frozen from winter
brush against my Australian sunburn.
northern hemisphere meets
the other end of the world
where nothing makes sense,
and water flows the other direction.
alice is down the rabbit hole,
she didn’t fall
she chose to jump.

ryan adams

had this in my head all day. I changed a lyric:


Up here in the city feels like things are closing in
The sunsets just my light bulb burning out
I miss VIRGINIA and I miss my family
All the sweetest winds they blow across the south

youth in motion

Sometimes I miss
My youth
Long gangly limbs
Small hips
Smaller worries
Wishing to be older
To start life
Not realizing
Life is happening
As you sit
Yearning.

tongues in their place

people have been speakin' tongues in my head
oh, why did I get out of bed
oh, why did I get out of bed
walkin' on down the street
tappin' a beat
yeah, tappin' a beat

even the lyrics seem outta place
replacing tongues in their space
with tongues in their place
this may make me seen insane
but it's all just the same
if i'm going insane.

The Other Shoe

Watching the other shoe drop
Is quite the sight.
It teeters and totters
And finally falls

No one can ever seems
To catch it.
They just watch, dumbfounded
At how far it falls.

My Pink Tongue

My pink tongue
Is caught behind my teeth
My words unable to form.

I watch your eyes
Dart from side to side
Looking for a way out.

I never remember
Saying “forever” or
Even giving you a time frame.

Your eyes tell me otherwise.
I wish I could unglue my tongue
And tell you that you’re free to run.

29

8.28.09 29


You must know I still think about you
I know you think you hate me and think
I should take the blame on my small shoulders.
But it just doesn’t sit right. The blame isn’t
Used to my narrow shoulder blades.
It can’t find a niche. You don’t seem to understand
My body isn’t made to take your shallow words
And growing guilt.
My frame is like a dancers and I’ve danced around
Your steady blows for too long.
I never let myself feel grief for you,
For the death of our relationship.
But the ending was mine.
Once the blame slipped the rest of
The way off.
I left it sitting in a pile,
Deserted. and
I walked away.

Last Night

Last night you made me dinner.
You smiled at me as you slid
The green beans on my plate.
You used to love cooking for me
And today it’s become a chore.

Last night you wouldn’t let me go
You held me like you thought I’d run.
When dinner was over,
You surprised me with banana splits.
And today you left without saying good-bye.

Today I realized it’s been months since
Last night and that today
Has been a long time coming.
I ran away just like you thought
I would so many nights ago.

The Torch

When I realized it was over,
Really over, I think.
I put the torch I had for you
Away. But, not too far out of
Reach. It was in the closet next
To the umbrella I never use.
Right by the door where I could
Find it when I was blinded
By your smile, by your words.
Where I could reach when
My brain failed me again.

American Blues

For Nancy Kate.


American Blues. you hear them in the
Oddest places. Shoe stores,
Shopping malls & zoos.

They spill out of alley ways
Follow you in the liquor store
To cure what ails.

Especially in the liquor store.
It’s like Ella is following
You down the aisle.

Singing: “Baby, grab that Jack”
Reminding you to double up.
Her notes drifting, lingering,

flaunt & flair

I’m eating chips in bed
Not thinking bout
How life ain’t fair.
Life is anything
But.
But, it’s got flaunt
And flair.
It twirls about
Right before you.
Taunting and taming
You and your lofty
Dreams.

waiting, always

I grit my teeth &
Grind my feet into
The ground
And smile
Like it was always
Your idea.

Please & Thank You,
Yes, and ever so kindly.
“Here’s your tea, sir”.
I cringe inwardly
And smile, inexplicably
Forcing down dislike.

Look 'Ma, I new poem!

I watch the houses spin by, twirling in my passing vision.
I close my eyes and I’m even further down the tracks.
I choke back tears.
Mind you, they are not tears of sadness or loss, even.
If I let them roll down my cheeks,
Their warm bodies would meet the collar of my shirt,
The curve of my lips—if I let them fall they would fall for the love
I hold. They would fall in happiness.
I’m home again.

Thin ice

The ice clinks in my glass
As I rotate my wrist from side to side
It slowly melts and mixes in with the alcohol,
Watering it down.

I think about you. I always think about you
Even though I shouldn’t
Even though you don’t
Deserve it. After all of this, all of the dead ends—

I still have feelings for you,
Watered down like the ice in my glass
But you still make my heart quicken
Even though it’s over & done.

I love this song

It's always spoken to me when i've been down.


"The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood is much too dangerous
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time

Compared to some I've been around
But I really tried so hard
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

In the end I was the mean girl
Or somebody's in-between girl
Now it's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love

I leave the party at three a.m.
Alone, thank God
With a valium from the bride
It's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love
And that's as real as true love

That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

That echo chorus lied to me with its..."

Neko Case

Shilo

You sharpen knives with smart precision
I watch as they shine and glisten
Dripping with pepper’s entrails
And your slow smile as you prevail
In your effortless feast to
Somehow tame the beast

I realized, with chagrin, that I had
Miscalculated you, again.
You cloud my thoughts, impede my speech
But I’m not in love, I’m lying through my teeth
The bells toll for me in a raucous beat
I know you watch me walkin’ down the street
My boot heels click in time with my heart
Sure, staccato but falling apart.

This slow burn will surely fade
From tan to lily white a shade
Of winters to come. And you
Know these words are yours
As you know the tide will
Always come in and time will
Wipe away tears and memories
Once lush and full. But, you
Will remember the days when
Time stood still.



ALC 2009

"Use Somebody"

Thinking, smoking, drawing lines across the horizon
It’s nearly ten am and I have yet to sleep
I wander home in a cloud of confused melancholy
I realize I’m not wearing shoes and that
I’m not sure where they have been left.
Someone now has a new pair of shoes.
I’ve since given up on figuring out
Why I do the things I do
And what drives me to lose
A new pair of shoes.

screaming accusations

I’ve been sitting in the dark all day.
Blinds pulled cigarette black.
I let my mind wander and trickle through old memories:
The pure
The bleak
The dark ones twisted with pain.
All of them gathering in my skull
Pulling like winds before a storm
Whipping up the sediment
Where I’ve hidden the bones.

What will the winds drag up now?
It was all so neatly hidden.
I imagine them ivory white
And calcium leached.
The bones splayed out
Before me
Staring with
Empty eye sockets
And
Screaming accusations.

Commentary on "Our life is Not a Movie or Maybe"

What business of mine is this?
Your gilded lies, your golden wrist.
How could I have nerve enough
To wrestle with your narrative.

The story lines lack suspense
The characters have folded
I’ve been using your heavy edits
As sturdy, yellowed bookends

This life you have written down
Is steeped in ancient lore
Everyone knows happy endings
Are as real as fairy tales